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Friday, 27 May 2011

Discount Kisses

Props to me, my free Revlon lipstick came today :) Oh what a lovely treat for a Friday morn. So thought I'd snap some pouty poses for your delectation and show you.....

                                          The colour I got was Raspberry Freeze in Pearl. At first I was uhmming and aaahing all over the place. Recently I've been loving a bold lip- espesh my Revlon Cherries in the Snow, 17 Hot Chilli and MUA in red. But this is really nice for daytime and very shiny as well.

And now I leave you with some Prince and your imagination....

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Tan- Tastic!

We've all been there- the first pitiful attempts at fake tanning. The orange elbows, the Day Glo hands. Hell, I once applied 'gradual tanner' and my friend, being a photoholic, documented my journey from 'subtley bronze' to full on 'oompa loompa' during one memorable night out. And I don't say 'memorable' positively.
Me and my mates- painting the town orange

Anyway, the point is- I've been there, done that. Got the stained towels to prove it. And the most disappointing experiences in my quest for beach acceptable beauty has got to be gradual tanning moisturisers. I just didn't get what all the Johnson's Holiday Skin fuss was about. Yea it made me golden- for about a NANO second. Then I was left with streaks and the faint waft of unattractive tan smell.

So needless to say I was dubious to try another. But then the budget got real low. And with darkly dyed hair and pasty skin, I was beginning to resemble something from Twighlight (sorry but- *VOM*). I've got some pretty important things coming up- a visit to the in-laws, a night out with the gals, a NEW JOB NEXT WEEK! (Eek-finally).

So I did it, I sold out, counted the pennies in my hobo shoes and had just enough for a bottle of Garnier Summerbody lotion- Tesco £2.49

Image courtesy of damn computer wouldn't load my photographic piece of genius

Oh no, you tanning 'experts', you can't fool all of the people all of the time! This attempt round, I will not be won over by your 'easy application' baloney. I'm going gung-ho with the exfoliator prep, and the less said about the thoroughness of my application, the better.

And honestly? I'm really impressed. I have one slightly dubious patch, where my arm meets my wrist (but I think that's because I was paranoid about orange hands so I washed them pretty darn good). But overall, I've been left with a really nice glow. No TOWIE around here, thank you very much.
  ....Okay, so it doesn't show up quite so well on my camera as I'd imagined. So essentially, this is just a picture of my arm. Enjoy.

Would I re-purchase this tan? For such a bargainous price, yes. You have to be very careful with your application though. I'm not saying it won't end in slap dash streak horror if you don't apply carefully. One thing it does have on Johnson's is the fact you don't smell like gone off biscuits. You smell of apricots, which is a lot more appealing. And be careful of your face too. Mix it with moisturiser. A golden body will be ruined if your face resembles Jordan's left boob.

But come next week I shall officially be a working girl (minds out of the gutter please) so hopefully I won't have to face such a 'help I've no money and washed out skin so bad I'm scaring people' dilemma again.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Free Revlon Lipstick

I am going to tell you about an offer, but first, let me just say- please don't judge me. For I found it in *lowers head in shame* Woman magazine. My mum's a reader, okay?! What else was I supposed to do when I sat down with my afternoon cup of tea? NOT read a magazine?! I'm living on a budget here people.

And it had Lorraine Kelly on the front.

ANYWAY, if you go to and select the Superlustrous Lipstick, all you have to do is enter the discount count 'RevLip' at the checkout. You pay £1.99 for p&p. That's it.

I blogged recently about this lipstick here so I was literally like something out of the Olympics, running towards the computer, maxed out credit card in hand to order.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Quick NOTD

I rarely ever do anything 'of the day' posts. But the reason I'm doing this one is because the lover and I are in a conflict about it. I absolutely love this colour. He absolutely hates it. So whilst he is at work I have slapped some on, knowing this affair will last only an hour or two before he gets home, looks at my hands and goes; *terribly panicked voice* 'Shit! Are you okay? We need to get you to the hospital, you've got a finger fungal infection! Or frostbite!'

Men. If it doesn't come in 'Pasty' or 'Pie', they're not interested.
*Please excuse the way this George Quick Dry in Shipwrecked is applied. It's 10 minutes till hometime and I'm desperately searching for some gloves! A night of mittens will mean that these ocean blue digits get to live another day.
......damn. He's a follower of my blog.

PS- Can I just say thanks to Abigail - I saw her blog and was like 'Holy Moly, she is blessed with the most voluminous hair I have ever seen.' 22 years I've been on the quest for that. So she kindly did a post for me about it. I shall be trying out these tips this evening :) Check out her blog

Monday, 23 May 2011

I Long to be The Lipstick Queen....

But I know with all you beauty savvy glamour gals hot on the latest trend, it's never going to happen. So for now I will settle with being a lipstick enthusiast. The 'Court Jester' of this palace scenario, if you will.

I haven't done a lipstick collection post in a while and- whilst preparing for my *Beauty Awards and Amaze Giveaway*- I thought I'd still do some pic heavy posting. (less demanding on the ol' fingeroos and probs more enetertaining for you guys who don't want to read my stupid ramblings.)

Ta Da! This is my collection. You have to wonder about the social life of someone who has enough time on their hands to doo this. But here we are.

I have blogged about most of these colours individually but this was a bit of a revelation- I have a lipstick in basically every colour of pink- and it's STILL NOT ENOUGH! I MUST HAVE MORE!

My longing for lipstick kind of reminds me of this cat.....

If only I had eyes as green as his. Imagine the other shades that would suit me....

Sunday, 22 May 2011

I haven't forgotten!

Just a quick post to tell you all- don't worry! I haven't forgotten about my beauty awards and BRILLIANT giveaway. I'm putting it all together as we speak and it'll be a pleasure to your senses as soon as I can :)

Cherries In The Snow (She's a Lady)

Perhaps not an apt title for a Summer blog post. But do I make up the names for Revlon lipsticks? No. And that is exactly what Cherries in the Snow is.

This is a buildable colour that can be used as a nice pink or a deeper raspberry shade. Or, I guess, what cherries would look like in the snow.

This was a gift from the best man chef in the world (check out I was really excited because, as sad as it sounds, I've never had a Revlon lipstick before. Yea, MUA is a fail safe cheap option, but I start my new job next week (yay!) so finally I can peruse the higher end brands and not feel like a fraudster. And as a journo I've been doing a lot of research in to my art, so the name Revlon reminds me of the glamorous 50's.

I tend to use a slick of Lipcote, but this creme formulation has some pretty good staying power. I've eaten, drunk several cups of tea, shouted at some people, laughed at some more, and it's stayed put all morn. Marvellous.

Right, now I'm off to bust some moves to The Best of Tom Jones. Well what else were Sundays made for?!

Saturday, 21 May 2011

What's Your Signature?

No, I'm not planning to steal the money from your bank account. Forgery is a bit cloak-and-dagger for me. So when I ask, 'What's your signature?'...I mean signature look.

Recently I've been reading a lot about vintage and the history of make up. Sad or amazing?! You decide (I say AMAZE) and I've come to notice there have been a lot of iconic ladies with iconic signatures. Elizabeth Taylor and that eye make up, Twiggy and that Bambi-esque look, even Cheryl Cole and that hair.

Cheryl is a die-hard big-hairer.

Even when it goes.......yeti.

So it got me thinking; is a signature look the way to go? We're all here on this site because we love experimenting and the latest new product. But trends come and go. No one ever told Permy Sue that tight curls and blue eyeshadow would be totally uncool come 1990. Can she look at old pics of herself in a jumpsuit without feeling embarrassed? No. I mean, should we be living in The Fear?! The fear being that our children will mock us and our youth trends as we do our own parents. The fear that one day, my daughter will look at a photo of me and be like 'Sweet Lord, what were you thinking woman?!' as I do my own mother?

So maybe signature it is.

Signature can never technically go out of style, because it was never technically in. You just took it, incorporated it to your own fabulous self and rocked it.

Have you ever thought how Chanel No. 5 smells of your gran? Well to your gran it smells of 50's glamour and her youth. And it's her signature.

Do you have one? And if I get one- what should it be?

Friday, 20 May 2011

Product Placement Much?!

Now, as you know, I have a little bit of a girl-crush on The Saturdays. Especially Rochelle. And her accessory collection. Plus the glaI mourous way she can pull of a red lip *Sigh*. Anyway, before this  post turns me in to a quivering mess, let me get to the point.

And let me repeat- I love The Sats.

So it was with 'what-dress-and-hairstyle-combination-will-they-pull-off' anticipation that I watched their new vid Notorious.

But apparently, instead, I ended up pressing the wrong button and watching a Barry M advert. Silly me. Oh no, wait........This IS their new video.

I understand they have to pay their bills, for the video, for all those fab scarves/ voluminous hairspray. But REALLY? Do they really think putting a 2 second still of Barry M lipgloss in their video is going to make me think 'Oh, how innocent this scene is- and wait...The Saturdays achieve their glamourous looks by using Barry M products? Get me to Superdrug, pronto!'

I suspect some D & G at the very least when I look at those perfectly painted nails.

It's just stupid.

 'Product placement.'

If you're lacking in funds, just come out a do a full-on advert for something. Everybody knows Cheryl Cole isn't always using Elnett for that Yeti 'do. But at least our eyes can glaze over when we see the advert, we can flick the page in the magazine. We know it's a fairytale, so we're making a conscious decision when we go to the shops and buy it. I've admitted it- I'm a sucker for a good advert.

But product placement is just damn deceptive. Do ten year-olds realise that Vanessa's pout isn't down to a £2.99 lipgloss? Good genetics, kids, trust me, you can't buy them.

I couldn't upload it, so go to youtube and watch the advert for yourself. In the meantime, I put up this picture to satisfy my....cravings.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Just a little girl from Little Rock

It's probably definitely a bit weird to have nails inspired by a film. But there we are. As I've been blabbing on about, I'm having a bit of a 40's/ 50's moment right now. My obsession for brights has subsided (only a little, mind) in favour of this. Damn you, The Notebook! Look at the wreck I have become!

Anyway, when I went to Boots for a final spree on the ol' 3 for 2, I decided to incorporate both of my current obsessions. I got the bright pink lipstick (in previous post) and a red nail polish. I think Barry M polishes are great. The colour is so vibrant and my nails are shiny, even without a topcoat.

As I leaned down to meander the full range, I reached my hand out to pick up the red when......something caught my eye. That old magpie gene took over......and I ended up doing this to my nails that night.

I haven't ever seen this glittery red before in the collection. But it was the last one left. So the only conclusion I can come to is that the women of this town are as ingenious as I.

Basically, because it reminds me of this....

Styling yourself on a musical number?! What genius is this?! I know. I have a gift.

Friday, 13 May 2011


Did I get blocked from blogspot for my horrendous posting? Because what the hell happened there?! For a while I thought I'd never get to share my haphazardly painted sausage hands with any of you again :(

Considering the malfunction, this is just a quick post as I have a couple lined up. And some impending deadlines. Aahh, and just when the weekend's beginning! Marvellous.

I never really do OOTD posts, but this is what I wore to see one of my bffs last night at the local.

It was just a laid back/ cas affair. The one thing I WAS set on wearing were my shiny new earrings.
You know the heartbreak you feel when you lose one of your most favourite things? Well a while ago, me and the boyfriend were larking around down by the shore and I later discovered I had ventured home with only one earring :( They were actually a present from said boyfriend so I not only felt ridiculously guilty, but also majorly pissed off at myself because I loved them. They were Accessorize, people. That ain't cheap!

Anywhoo, yesterday when I was in town, I ventured in to this little jewellery stop that I always seem to bypass (it's NEXT to River Island. What am I supposed to do?!) As luck would have it, they had some really nice, one off things- and to top it off, their prices were slashed to basically £0. I felt it was only for the good of humanity that I had a rummage. And guess what I found? A pair of leaf earrings, in memoriam to the one I had lost *sob*.....for 50p.

They're not quite as amazing. And they will never replace the sentimental value of the one that, I believe, was stolen by a crab or a gold loving sea bird (damn you, ocean!) But you heard me right- 50p.

So this has slightly eleviated the pain you caused me when you stole my accessory, Mr Crab. But I still urge you to sleep with one eye open. Cos I'm making a salad and it's got freshly caught crustacean written allllll over it.

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Bright Pink Lips....I'm getting all Nicki Minaj on ya'll

Guiltily, I confess to you, so that you might forgive the sins of this lipstick-a-holic. DAMN YOU, Boots 3 for 2! I only went in for a red nail polish (for the vintage look I'm doing, I haven't forgotten, chillax).

I ended up with two.......and then this. No.16 to my lipstick collection.

Barry M No.52, it's called 'Shocking Pink' and it is, rather. It's matte so it does have great staying power. But I'm going to need a skin detox and a 'do I care?' attitude to pull this off.....and some lycra if I really want to Nicki Minaj it.

But then I would go to jail because I definitely can not pull that off.

And then I would have to sell all of my beloved lipsticks for bail money.

(Excuse the rest of my face and the background. I'm not quite sure what the hell this pose is. Think it must be my 'come hither' face. No wonder the boyfriend made his excuses and left for work early. Was probably scared of what might happen to him.)

Monday, 9 May 2011

I ALSO Heart

Thought I might do a little bit of a regular post of things I'm loving atm- just as a reminder to myself that life has its blessings and even in the face of adversity, there are still things to be thankful for.

These are not exactly related to the usual subject of my blog. But a good friend (called t'internet) once told me that happiness is beautiful and cosmetics ain't the only pretty things in life.

* Summery days with MJO 

We are probably most definitely the sexiest couple in the world. But when we're not busy being fabulous (near enough all of the time), we're having some of the best days of my life.

* Hello old friend. How are you?

Sometimes you end up with so many shoes....and clothes.....and bags.....and scarves/ belts/ earrings......that the old faves can get pushed to the back of your mind. I'm a magpie- I always have been, baby. You're sparkly and shiny and 50% off in New Look? Grab your carrier bag, you're coming home with me.

On Friday I rediscovered these trusty favourites of mine. Boy did it feel good to slip my feet back in to those familiar grooves and give them a rest from the blisters my new, more 'in' shoes had made.

 *Feeling the blues......

I'm not a massive lover of gigs. Spilled beer is never going to bode well for instant tan.

But at the weekend, I witnessed something genius- that is, Uncle Pete's harmonica playing. Linked below is a video (*cough* filmed by yours truly. And my, how well it is done too) of Tollbar Blues- the band he's a part of. They were absolutely brilliant and I'm hoping Uncle Pete is going to be the next big thing!

As they might say in Essex- 'Quali'y'

* Flower Power

With a ridiculous make up collection comes ridiculous difficulty in trying to house it. Espesh when a goldfish has more space than you. So ladies, I was pretty psyched when I saw this case in the beloved Primarni, £4. Unfortunately, it was on the highest shelf I have ever seen. And me being no gazelle, I almost gave up on getting it. But boyfriend had other ideas- he jumped up, hit it off the shelf- and as it went flying, nearly knocked someone out in the nearby queue.

*The Historical Importance of Our Time

Okay, I have no idea why I just wrote that- it just sounded pretty clever, okay?! I'm a proper history geek and I don't really give a damn what you think about it. Last week we took a trip to see HMS Victory and the Mary Rose and I was just

Even if it's Horrible Histories, you feel so much better for learning about your heritage. It's cooler than ICE.

    * SUPER EXCITEMENT* Looking forward to seeing the Dream Team *SUPER EXCITEMENT*

Walton's coming of age is soon approaching us and I am really looking forward to spending some quality T-I-M-E with my friends. I never thought I'd be grown up enough to say that life is hectic and you literally have to plan these things when you all have your own shizzle going down. But here we are. And come the beginning of June, Partay time is where we shall be.

To bring even more sunshine in to this life of sin, I get to see Perry and the one they call Corrigan for dinner again soon too. So *reflective moment* I guess what I'm trying to say is- it's nice to know even if you are busy (with work/ study/ Iceland buffets) these ol' pals- AND THEIR LACK OF UVA PROTECTION- will be right there.

I Heart Vintage

I've got the fever. No, this is not a reprisal of the beubonic plague (though probs by looking at me you think it is). I'm talking about the reprisal of my love for vintage. This latest rekindling happened when I re-watched The Notebook last week.

Aside from bawling like a baby- what?! Am I supposed to be made of STONE?!-Nicholas Sparks, you tear jerker!- I loved Rachel McAdam's look.

But oh, to have the dainty bone structure of she. I sometimes wonder if my honker would be better suited to a horse. (I live daily in fear of the Sarah Jessica Parker situation becoming a real life reality for me. Watch her old movies. She's really quite glorious. Equine gene must have snuck up on her like a beast in the night.)

AND I could not be more excited about what slammed through my letterbox this morning (laugh- but this is my life)

I'm sure you all watched Lisa Eldrige's series on vintage make up and this book is by Madeleine  Marsh; the expert she works with during it. If you're a keen bean collector, you're probs going to want something a little more text heavy. But if you just love looking at nice pictures, really, and learning a bit- this is the bookeroo for you (sorry, that was a ridiculous phrase).

 I'm going to write more about how I am desperately (and probs failing) to emulate the look in one of my upcoming posts. I'm working on some looks as we speak and I can't wait to post them.

Bet you're all quivering with excitement at the thought of it. Though tbh, to those of you that saw my Scarlett Johanson creation- there is no denying I'm a style genius.

Sunday, 8 May 2011

And the award for most delusional blogger goes to.....

Get your gowns out. It's time for an awards show like you've never seen. That's right, it is the one, the only.....Normalface Products I Love Awards.

You're looking a bit quizzical. In which case, I suggest you sink your teeth in to the news that it is over 6 months since I, brilliant blogger that I am, first burst on to the scenes of blogspot. What DID the world do before my advice?!......look far less like a planet of drag queens, I would imagine.

Anyway, this is just a note to tell you to prepare. It's going to be a glorious one-girl celebration and you'd be missing out if you didn't stop by normalface to witness it. I'll be giving awards in several categories (thinking of cheesy names as we speak, don't worry, I'm still me).

And- THE BEST NEWS IS- I'll be doing a giveaway of the brilliant products I give the awards to. So you can look as fabulous as me *cough* don't do it to yourself *cough*
 AND considering I have SUCH a massive amount of followers, that's a 1 in 12 chance you've got to win this Rocky Horror-esque get up :)

Wednesday, 4 May 2011


So, you get it by now- I'm poor. Broke. Nada. Zilch. Suffering for my art. Tbf, not being appreciated in your time is the ultimate gift for any artist/ writer, so hey ho....

Anyway, I hope that when I do eventually get the recognition I so desperately long for (in a few thousand years time) I shall be known for always having colourful nails. The question is; how do I do this when I'm not Cheryl Cole (in the money stakes, at least)?

Before you click off, look horified and wonder what in humanity is wrong with me whilst you dial the number for the local health authority, take a look at this.....

It's another wonder from MUA. I am very impressed with this £1 nail polish. Sure, you don't get loads of product- but again, you're paying a POUND. For that amount, the product you do get is impressive. It's a really nice consistency and was super shiny without any top coat. I have put top coat on as I'd feel a little undressed otherwise.

I will be honest- I'm not that impressed with the colour range of the MUA nail polishes. This MIGHT be because I have variations of all the colours available from different brands. But I chose this coral, Shade 4, because I love the brights and I have to carry on reviewing to keep you babes entertained.

My thumb looks like a separate, living entity in this picture.

*WARNING* Philosophical moment- When I find a bargain product like this, it does make me question the beauty industry in general (I know right, waaaay too much time on my hands). I mean- if one company can make a decent product this affordable, are we literally paying for packaging? Sure, packaging is nice. But it ain't going to keep you warm at night. A duvet is. And you can't afford one of those if you've spent all your money on expensive brands. Trust me. I should know. *Pulls cover of Benefit boxes around self, rubs hands together- slide on slippers made of Yves Saint Laurent cartons.*

Monday, 2 May 2011

Matte nails- the verdict

Word on the street is that matte nails are a big deal. Not one to miss out on the down-lo, I thought I'd give it a whirl. To be honest, I was pretty dubious; I always always finish with a gloss top coat. And I hate smudged nails. why exactly I wanted to try this out, I'm not really sure. What I am sure of is the fact I'm pretty broke. So I went for Pink Flamingo, George Quick Dry nail polish- £1.79. It had the word New! emblanozed across it in big shiny letters. And I am always a sucker for an exclamation mark.

Also meant I ended up buying two lovely spring shades (in shiny variety)

The colour in the bottle did not translate to the nails- when dry, it's a dark pink/ reddy colour. Which was kind of disappointing as I was looking for that specific colour and I didn't get it. Means more money on nail polish. Thank you very much, ASDA.

The product goes on smooth and shiny, like a normal polish. But then it dries really quick in to a kind of.....waXy formula. It's really matte but looks slightly like candle wax or see through plastic. I actually like this. Like all of us beauty-holics that feel guilty about the amount we're spending on products, I feel the need to change my nail colour about....ooh....100 times a week. Yes polished nails are a must-have, but it's all so time consuming isn't it? For once, it's quite refreshing to just 'chuck on' a colour and it dry really quickly without fretting too much about the finish.

Excuse the sausage-like quality of my hands. No, I am not a product of Walls. I am, infact, a human being.


Sometimes I feel it's nice to have beauty products made for convenience. Yea, we love to treat ourselves- hell, I've literally got a whole make up bag full of lipsticks- but at the end of the day, there is more to life. There is a beautiful world out there to go and explore. You can't do that with rigid outstretched hands because you're terrified of smudging your polish.

For the working week, this is a great way to remain stylish without taking up too much of your valuable time. Yes, it does need maintenance for chips (using a top coat- unless you get a matte one- will take away from the desired result.) But for this bargain price, it's a hassle free way to make people in the office think you actually have a life outside of ice cream and sex and the city re-runs *checks time- flicks remote, gets back in to bed again*

The Heights of Hair: Product Review

I am on a crusade. For volume. If I was a medieval character, you'd all be referring to me as 'St.Normalface of Root Lift' by now. Tbh, thank goodness I wasn't a medieval character. Because I wouldn't have had all of the reasonably priced products in Boots to help me on my way to hair success.

Now, this quest, unfortunately, also makes me a bit of a sucker for a) empty promises b) sexy packaging. And the product review I have today sold to me on these (mainly it was the sexy packaging. SURELY it could make me look like that hot woman on the bottle?! It wouldn't even have much *cough* work to do.....though she does look s a little like a hooker.....)

I am talking about Umberto Giannini Backcomb in a Bottle and Glam Hair Massive Mousse

I've seen some really positive reviews of these, so if you've tuned in to hear something positive- turn off your blogspot radar now and leave. Positive review this ain't. I'm really disappointed.

Why? Let St. Normalface of Root Lift tell you why.

Firstly, the mousse diappointed me more than the hairspray. It was sticky, it came out of the bottle not with the springy mousse-like texture I'm used to (and I use a lot of the stuff, I know how it should feel, oh Aussie Haircare I will mever desert you again). It was kind of just......runny. Hmmm, I thought to myself. Maybe this just means it's good or something. Yea- good at making my hair look crispy. I did my usual roller routine with a blow dry....and blow drying it turned out to be a massive mistake. Even bigger than that time I tried blue lipstick. I've got it in every other colour people- I was young- don't judge!

When I blow dry my hair using my trusty Aussie HairCare Aussome Volume mousse, it's flexible enough to just enhance the volume. Not so with this mousse. And it's a real shame considering it's a 'salon' type brand.

The Backcomb in a Bottle wasn't a disaster- it was just a bit 'meh.' Like grey when you could be wearing red, you know? It's £5.49, again, very sticky and doesn't really do anything a decent hairspray won't.

I know there are a lot of positive reviews about this product. It just didn't work for me. Maybe that's because I literally have the main of a lion and actually, all this volume talk is just ridiculous because soon I won't be able to fit under those small country tunnels that say 'No vehicles over XX high'.