All the money in the world could not make me look like you

As the terrifying threat of exams draw nearer, the bank balance is empty and the weather is, well, belurgh, my skin is going through what can only be described as a 'stress management crisis'. And the less said about the body the better. I haven't looked past my neck for the past few days, but I'm pretty sure if I did, I 'd see something which resembles the 'before' shot of Claire Nasir. Except for the green lycra, obvs.

So, I thought that today, I would pay homage to some of those women *shakes fist* who always manage to look like there's a lamp radiating from inside them. Never stand next to one. You will only look sullen and grey in comparison.

Beyonce

Just the mere mention of her name is enough to send a young woman in to meltdown. And I'm no lesbian. The only question I have in my mind when I look at her is '....how'....'how...?!'

Lisa Eldridge

Just take a look at her face. The woman is in her 40's. I'll have whatever she's having. I've put a link to her youtube channel on the blog. Just a warning though, it's probably the reason I have so much work to do, I've spent far too long on there.

Marilyn Monroe

How can you not!

The Saturdays

I know it's all make up and smoke screens, but when life is tough, don't you ever think to yourself 'if only I could be a Saturday'?! I see them in Heat practically every week (NB: It's Magazine Tuesday, not just plain boring Tuesday gals) and I'm pretty damn jealous of their Alexander McQueen.

Just lie down and take it, foolish man. Lie down and take it!

Joan Collins

She says it's all down to good skin care and not sitting in the sun. As I can not afford botox and do not want a doctor slicing my face open, I am determined to believe her. I may not be quite up to her levels of glamour, but I will always be happy to know we share the same philosophy on sun screen (WALTON, take note)


Alessandra Steinherr

The Glamour beauty editor. Not only do I want her job, I also want her face and her immense beauty skills. Smokey subtle eye? Love, I was perfecting it for 3 hours in front of that mirror and I still look like a drag queen (meh, a spade's a spade)

Stephanie Perry

No, she's not famous (...unless you've seen Crimewatch...) but her face should be. Her skin has faired the weather of our lives far better than mine. Her top tip, so she informs me, is Lancome virtuose mascara (*sigh* one day soon...) But to be honest, she has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen, I think something for 90p from tesco would frame those eyes well.
Really, she should be the friend writing the beauty blog. This web page is basically a compiliation of all her ideas I have stolen over the years....

Steph: "Of course I'm happy, wouldn't you be if you had this skin?!" Me: "I will steal your face perry. One day it is going to happen."