Where have I been? Payday and the great lipstick mystery

Answer to first question: On the moon. No, I jest. But I just wanted to give you an idea of how far away I've been from being able to afford any cosmetic product whatsoever. Literally, lightyears.

And well, friends, it has been painful.

This is why I nearly CRIED with happiness to see pay day had taken my account out of the red. And straight in to Boots. Oh what goodies did I find? Well, seems as though I have monumentally f*d up as a beauty blogger and left you in the dark for so long, I thought I'd spread my finds over a few posts.

So come in out of the cold, rest those weary feet and take a peruse over my next few musings.

OKAY SO APPARENTLY THIS PIECE OF CRAP WON'T LET ME UPLOAD PICTURES TODAY. I WILL POST NEW BUYS TOMORROW WHEN HOPEFULLY THE WORLD STOPS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING OBSCENE ON ME........

'What do you mean?' I hear you ask. 'What else could have happened to you to make you think the world is against your expensive cosmetics habit, Normalface?!'

WELL, let me tell you. As you can see, lipstick is my love. And I have waited 6 long weeks to get my hands on a particular shade. Literally, every time I've gone in to Boots I've come out with my hands covered in it, crossing off the days on my wall chart till pay day.

Jokes, I don't have a wall chart *if only*

So anywhoo, yesterday arrived, I rushed in at lunchtime, grabbed a few bits like a woman obsessed- probably scared the staff a little- and went around for the rest of the day with a general feeling of smugness.

Oh, what cruel CRUEL twist of fate!

I go to apply. I take off the pink top of my new Rimmel Colour Show Off in 120, Be Bold. I lick my lips in anticipation. I imagine myself as Alexa Chung. Hell,  I can achieve anything in my beautful new lipstick. It's called Be Bold for goodness sake! Me and my nice new lipsti.......oh. Wait.

For in the place of my nice new lipstick. Is this.

*Again pictures not working. Shame. Cos it was a goodun. I'm literally bare faced. But then again, you wouldn't want scares before bedtime.*

*Basically it was the picture of nothing. That's right. The lipstick had been clean snapped off. THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!* *Tears well in eyes again*

Having enough Boots receipts to start my own lessons of Origami, I know my rights. It clearly states they will exchange if cosmetic is 'faulty.' I'd definitely say something's gone a little bit amiss with my lipstick, wouldn't you?!

I'm taking it back tomorrow and they'd best resolve the issue. Or there will be tears. And possibly a one woman protest along with lifelong membership to Superdrug. I'll let you know what happens. Or maybe I won't. Because maybe I'll be chained to the door of Boots singing 'We shall not be moved' for a while.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? What's Boots like for exchanges?

Speaking Volumes

Big hair. I am a woman obsessed. So when I saw this whole new range of products that's appearted on our shelves to give root boost, I knew straightaway I'd be jumping on the bandwagon.

Low and behold, Batiste's new Big and Bouncy XXL Volume Dry Shampoo.

I know this has had a ridic amount of reviews already. But as a fan of the backcomb, how could I resist giving you my views?

Firstly, let me just say I hail the dry shampoo like it's a wonder creation. As a hair-dyer, (of the wash-in, semi permanent variety), I don't want to be colouring my hair too often. Sure, we're all young and fresh now....do I want to be bald at 40? We all know the answer to that. So I have to keep washing to a minimum. This means freshness must come from a can.

Now, as someone with dark hair, I like the brunette version. Dandruff- not a good look. So it's a little annoying this new one is white. Brushing vigorously = effort before work and my standard 3 cups of coffee before I can function.

But wow, are the results totally worth it. I really like the volume this product gives, as well as the obvious freshness. If you ask me, dry shampoo is an essental in any girl's kit. Dry shampoo with an added benefit- marvellous.
I went to London for one of my bff's birthday this weekend and had to travel straight from work. There wasn't much time for styling, but luckily, good old XXL dry shamps was on hand. Just a tick of curling later and a dab of backcomb and my, what a result.

Me and Wilbs. Don't worry- I did refine it a little before we left.

Me, Walton. And the best coconut in the world. Fact.

Just please, if you have thick hair, learn a lesson from me, and wash it out BEFORE you hit the shops the next day......

Amusement for the passengers of the London Underground. I only aim to please.

Ooooh Cheeky!

Sorry for the lack of posting recently. I'm sure you've all been crying yourselves to sleep over it. Basically I've been busy with this 'job' malarkey. But I know that's no excuse!

Anyway, t'is because of said working that I re-found the products I wanted to blog about. When you have a desk and you're talking face to face to people or picking up the phone or hopping out to run errands, it's difficult to keep slappin' the, er, slap on when it's on somebody else's time. (Bring on my day off, I'll be applying like there's no tomorrow!) So you basically have to find things that'll keep you looking fresh and conceal the true monster you are to the paying public. Bliss. And in the depths of my beauty bag, I found these little beauts.

2true cheek n'lip tint in Rose (?) and Blush Pink, £1.99 each of 3 for £4.99

That's right peeps, you heard correct, £1.99 a pop and you know what? A total dupe for Benefit. As you know, I've been harping on about lipstick uphill and downdale, but stains are great for creating that 'made no effort but still look like a god' look. Okay, that may have been a little deluded......but you get the drift.

Because I have dark hair now (all natural *cough* totally natural) the Rose stain looks like a 'just flushed' look for me. The Blush Pink really makes your face pop (not LITERALLY) so it's ideal for days when you're feeling a bit 'meh.'

Me, using Rose on cheeks n' lips. And posing. Natch.
Overall, I'm really pleased with these products. And what's better is they were a re-discovery, so it's not as if I even splashed any cash :)

Oh Boots, just hang on till pay day, baby.....

Discount Kisses

Props to me, my free Revlon lipstick came today :) Oh what a lovely treat for a Friday morn. So thought I'd snap some pouty poses for your delectation and show you.....

                                          The colour I got was Raspberry Freeze in Pearl. At first I was uhmming and aaahing all over the place. Recently I've been loving a bold lip- espesh my Revlon Cherries in the Snow, 17 Hot Chilli and MUA in red. But this is really nice for daytime and very shiny as well.

And now I leave you with some Prince and your imagination....

Tan- Tastic!

We've all been there- the first pitiful attempts at fake tanning. The orange elbows, the Day Glo hands. Hell, I once applied 'gradual tanner' and my friend, being a photoholic, documented my journey from 'subtley bronze' to full on 'oompa loompa' during one memorable night out. And I don't say 'memorable' positively.

Me and my mates- painting the town orange

Anyway, the point is- I've been there, done that. Got the stained towels to prove it. And the most disappointing experiences in my quest for beach acceptable beauty has got to be gradual tanning moisturisers. I just didn't get what all the Johnson's Holiday Skin fuss was about. Yea it made me golden- for about a NANO second. Then I was left with streaks and the faint waft of unattractive tan smell.

So needless to say I was dubious to try another. But then the budget got real low. And with darkly dyed hair and pasty skin, I was beginning to resemble something from Twighlight (sorry but- *VOM*). I've got some pretty important things coming up- a visit to the in-laws, a night out with the gals, a NEW JOB NEXT WEEK! (Eek-finally).

So I did it, I sold out, counted the pennies in my hobo shoes and had just enough for a bottle of Garnier Summerbody lotion- Tesco £2.49

Image courtesy of mysupermarket.co.uk- damn computer wouldn't load my photographic piece of genius

Oh no, you tanning 'experts', you can't fool all of the people all of the time! This attempt round, I will not be won over by your 'easy application' baloney. I'm going gung-ho with the exfoliator prep, and the less said about the thoroughness of my application, the better.

And honestly? I'm really impressed. I have one slightly dubious patch, where my arm meets my wrist (but I think that's because I was paranoid about orange hands so I washed them pretty darn good). But overall, I've been left with a really nice glow. No TOWIE around here, thank you very much.

  ....Okay, so it doesn't show up quite so well on my camera as I'd imagined. So essentially, this is just a picture of my arm. Enjoy.

Would I re-purchase this tan? For such a bargainous price, yes. You have to be very careful with your application though. I'm not saying it won't end in slap dash streak horror if you don't apply carefully. One thing it does have on Johnson's is the fact you don't smell like gone off biscuits. You smell of apricots, which is a lot more appealing. And be careful of your face too. Mix it with moisturiser. A golden body will be ruined if your face resembles Jordan's left boob.

But come next week I shall officially be a working girl (minds out of the gutter please) so hopefully I won't have to face such a 'help I've no money and washed out skin so bad I'm scaring people' dilemma again.