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Saturday 13 August 2011

Monkeying Around- My Daily Routine For Not Looking Like An Animal

Tonight my boyfriend and I are going to see 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes' (is it me, or does that seem a bit of a long title, like I get to the second 'of the' and my mouth is all 'enough already, stuff me with popcorn!' They should have just called it 'Monkeys' or something).

Anyway, it will be a bit of a sentimental occasion for me. You know, seeing my family up there on the big screen.

You may laugh but beneath this beautiful goddess-like exterior, there is an extremely hairy mammal at large (sounds so wrong now I read that back).

So, ladies, it's time we talked about something a little..well, not really that talked about unless you're JLo and getting paid a ridic amount of money to prance around a beach and pretend like you DON'T have a maid to shave your legs for you. Which you so obviously do, because you're JLo.
That's right......Hair removal.

It's a subject close to my heart (not least because my chest is covered in hair.) I don't know about any of you, but I'm going to just go ahead and get it out there. Like an AA meeting for the genetically challenged....My name is Normalface and I naturally grow thick hair, fast.

There, I said it. I'm out.

We Brits are somewhere between the Germans (let it all hang loose) and those from LA ('I do not even want to SMELL hair on me, GOT IT?!!!') And to be honest, I guess hair comes down to personal preference.

My personal situation (it grows by the second, not the day) means that my preference is to be like the Miss Trunchball of body hair. I will hunt it down. And I will throw it in the Chokey.

We all like that extra insulation a couple of day's overgrowth can give to legs on a frosty winter morn.

But it doesnt exactly make me want to take my clothes off.

And those close to me will know that taking my clothes off is a sort of hobby of mine. Nobody enjoys it. But what do I care.

So now I share with you the secrets of my hairless success. It takes time. And it takes a lot of money in shower water. But these are some great products if you want to reduce the fuzz factor whilst simultaneously having a life (a secret I am yet to master.)

My personal opinion is that you can't go wrong with this stuff. That's a lie, you can most definitely go wrong. Leave it on for too long, especially in a sensitive area and well, you can wave goodbye to your skin as well as your hair. But practice makes perfect.

Using hair removal creams means less ingrown hairs than shaving. And let's face it, plucking at inward growing knee hairs in front of your boyfriend really isn't the best way to go about anything. Unless the thing you're trying to go about is making him run a mile.
I really would recommend this for hair anywhere (let's not go in to too much detail. We all have areas. And we all have a duty to ourselves to look after them.)


With the rising cost of petrol and bills, you might think that shaving creme is just one necessity too far. But it really does make a difference to your results. No one wants shaving rash. Unless you're trying to get out of a really awful date/ reunion/ meeting and you need an injury that a) looks horrendous enough to be believable but b) will clear up without any lasting scars.


I can't take all the credit for this one. It was actually a tip from Nicola Roberts. I said that like I know her. I don't. But I read it in a magazine, so it must be true, right?!

Apparently she uses this as an aide to shaving.

Well tbh, I don't really care if she said it or not. It's a damn good tip so it could have been said by Zippo the Clown for all I care. (You laugh, but that guy has been rocking the red lip trend for years. He doesn't look like such a joke now, does he?!)

 Leaves your skin feeling marvellous and baby soft.

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